Monday, December 27, 2010
“To us,” Jim toasted as they clinked glasses.
Debbie took a long sip then spit out a ring. “What’s this?”
He dropped to one knee. “Will you be my wife?”
He slipped the ring on her finger then wrapped his arms tightly around her.
“You’ve made me the happiest zombie!” he said then took a bite out of the side of her head. He began to gnaw on her brain while she screamed and tried to pull away.
“No! Please stop!” she begged. It was too late. Debbie slumped against the couch as the infection began to course through her body then fell into a coma. When she awoke the next morning, the transformation had begun.
“Good morning my sweet zombina!”
“Why Jim?” she demanded before the transformation was complete.
“I want to be with you always, my love.”
“Aww! That’s so sweet!”
They snuggled until the transformation was complete. They were married later that day and lived happily ever after.
© December 26, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
"One of those new human finder devices," Gloria answered.
“Does it work?”
“Look for yourself.”
Gloria opened the freezer, displaying five fresh kills. “I got them yesterday.”
“Got one upstairs. Want some?”
“Hell yea! Nothing like fresh brains for lunch!”
© December 25, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Hannah tried to run but her feet wouldn’t move. She screamed as the spirit held her tight then forcefully entered her body causing it to contort violently then slump on the floor.
The spirit stood up and stretched out in its new host then set to work, slipping from her body when it finished.
When Hannah awoke, she held a knife covered with fresh blood. A trail of the warm red liquid led to the bed. Her husband and children laid upon it, stabbed to death.
“Why?” she demanded.
The disembodied voice whispered, “You’re mine.”
© December 24, 2010
He’d been awake for days. Maybe now I can sleep.
He sat down; resting his gun across his lap, then closed his eyes.
A moan filled the room.
More moaning. His eyes flew open; he raised his shotgun.
“This is your last warning!”
The moaning stopped.
John relaxed again then dozed off.
The zombie hoard quietly stepped out of the shadows.
They fell upon him; tearing at his flesh. The church bells struck midnight, masking his screams.
Their hunger was sated … for now.
© December 24, 2010
There's a web site where they post six word stories and I submitted my first try, a retelling of a favorite childhood story: Breadcrumbs gone. A candied-house. Sweet salvation?
Can you guess what it is? Yep! Hansel and Gretel!
It got me to wondering about other fairy tales. Could others be retold in six words and have the reader still know what the story is? Here are my attempts. How many can you get? Can you think of other stories I missed? In the comments, leave your attempts. In a few days I'll post the answers to my stories and my guesses on your stories.
Jealous rage. Poisoned apple. Princely kiss.
Visiting grandma. Deceptive wolf. Huntsman savior.
Wendy’s fantasy. Neverland journey. Escaping Hook.
Pricked finger. Endless sleep. Beloved’s kiss.
Mistreated, unloved. Magical ball. Princely love.
Enchanted castle. Scary beast. Belle’s love.
Unhappy princess. Leggy wish. Prince’s kiss.
House building. Strong winds. Boiled wolf.
Lost girl eats porridge. Scary bears.
Tricky tailors. Naked king. Lesson learned.
Wooden boy. Lying nose. Whale’s tale.
Feathery birth. Bullied childhood. Beautiful swan.
Thumb-sized girl. Mole husband. Winged Maia.
Prince’s test. Hidden pea. Bruised awakening.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
She closed her eyes with a steely resolve. No more would they tease her about being as big as a whale or causing earthquakes with each step.
When they found her, she was encased in ice. A chilling end.
© December 22, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
“It is worth every penny,” he replied, hugging her tightly. “You know I’d do anything for you.”
“Even murder,” he thought to himself as he watched them roll the heart donor’s dead body into the operating room.
© December 22, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
“Help! They’re kidnapping me!” a woman screamed.
With a sigh, Jiizo zipped across the street and down the block to the where the scream had come from. The signs of the Skulls gang were impossible to miss. It looked like the work of Wrack and his crew.
“How he’d get out already?” Jiizo wondered as he headed towards their hideout. He paused when he saw an ice cream truck drive past. “I’d be so happy with that gig,” he thought then crashed through the door.
He beat up Wrack’s crew with ease, and then came face to face with leader. Jiizo quickly arrested him and called in for backup from Portal Corp to clean up the others while he escorted the victim out into the rainy night.
Two weeks later, Jiizo was full of smiles as he straightened his new white uniform and donned his hat.
“Who would like some ice cream?”
© December 21, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
On the second day after the zombie apocalypse, my true love gave to me two machetes.
On the third day after the zombie apocalypse, my true love gave to me three rounds of ammo.
On the fourth day after the zombie apocalypse, my true love gave to me four baseball bats.
On the fifth day after the zombie apocalypse, my true love gave to me five cans of beans.
On the sixth day after the zombie apocalypse, my true love gave to me six live grenades.
On the seventh day after the zombie apocalypse, my true love gave to me seven firebombs.
On the eighth day after the zombie apocalypse, my true love gave to me eight throwing knives.
On the ninth day after the zombie apocalypse, my true love gave to me nine machine guns.
On the tenth day day after the zombie apocalypse, my true love gave to me ten fresh batteries.
On the eleventh day after the zombie apocalypse, my true love gave to me eleven health packs.
On the twelfth day after the zombie apocalypse, my true love gave to me the key to the safe house.
© December 20, 2010
Marge brought a dish of warmed brains covered with blood gravy into the dining room. “Dinner’s ready!”
“Defrosted brains again?”
“Get off your half-falling-off ass and find some fresh brains!”
“I’ve half a mind to eat your brain.”
“What brain? You ate three-fourths of it the day we met!”
Carl chuckled. “It was some of the best brain I’ve ever had, too!”
“Nice to know it was up to your standards.”
“Don’t be mad. I could never eat all your brains.”
There was a knock at the door. Fresh meat!
Carl opened the door to find two shivering teenagers on the doorstep. “Our car crashed into a snow bank. Can we use your phone?” one asked.
Carl led them into the dining room, where Marge ambushed the teens. They hungrily ate the young brains and guzzled their fresh warm blood.
“Mmm! That was delicious,” Carl said when he finished.
“There’s plenty for leftovers too.”
“Ask and ye shall receive,” Carl quoted then sat by the fire. Maybe winter wasn’t so bad after all.
© December 20, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
The others in the safe house were huddled together trying to keep warm as far from the window and door as they could be to protect themselves from possible radiation. Jessica didn't know what radiation was or cared about it.
"Dear Santa, For Christmas, I only want one night of snow," Jessica wrote then put the letter under her pillow and fell asleep.
When she awoke, everyone was staring out the window. "What's going on?" she asked her mother.
"Look," she answered as her father lifted her up over the crowd. The falling ash was mixed with white. It was snowing!
"Thank you Santa!" she whispered.
The group made a small feast from the supplies and sang Christmas carols then an older man recited "The Night Before Christmas." For a few hours, they shared holiday cheer and forgot about the horrific atrocities in the world outside; there would be time enough for that tomorrow.
© December 19, 2010
She was jobless, which wasn’t so horrible as she’d hated her job. The reason for being fired, however, was the bigger contributor to her misery. Her boss had fired her a week ago for accidentally causing two of her co-worker to go to the hospital for multiple broken bones. She had landed on them when she fell off the ladder she was using to hang up Christmas decorations. As it turned out, that was against company policy.
The co-workers had contacted their lawyers the next day and filed a suit against her. Anna had gotten the paperwork from the court the next day. With no job and no savings to pay for a lawyer, she had requested a public defender. Anna was told there would be none available until February and the case was to be heard before then.
She thought about defending herself but there was no point—everything she knew about law would fit in her plump pinky. Anna plead guilty and the judge ordered her to pay each of them $250,000 for their pain and suffering in addition to all their medical bills.
A representative of the court had been to her apartment the day before to assess her belongings and valued her worth at $1,203.48. Anna had been allowed to keep her old beat up car as she was still making payments on it. Everything else of value was packed into boxes and marked for public auction. The rest of the money would be garnished from future wages. She would forever be in debt to her former co-workers. The future was bleak.
Anna turned on the cold water and watched it fill to the water line that circled the inside of the tub. It was one of the deep old porcelain tubs and most of her 439-pound body was covered with water when she soaked in it. She’d chosen the apartment because of the tub.
She turned on the radio and found a station playing all Christmas music. Normally songs like “Jingle Bells” and “White Christmas” would fill her heart with warmth, but this year it served to bolster her resolve. Anna turned off the heat in the small apartment then wrote out a Christmas tag. It read, “Merry Christmas! Love, Anna.”
When Anna returned to the small bathroom, she discovered it was filled with steam as the cold water clashed with the warmer air. The mirror was covered with steam and she wasn’t able to look into her eyes. Anna knew if she did, all her resolve would wash away.
She taped the tag to the side of the tub and picked up the phone. She quickly dialed her landlord’s number. “Hi, it’s Anna,” she said. “I was wondering if you could stop by tomorrow. I need you to look at the bathroom.”
“I can come by around 2,” he replied.
“Great!” she said happily then hung up the phone. Everything was sorted.
Anna quickly undressed, dropping the clothes on the floor. Her pale white skin was instantly covered with goose bumps. The heat was rapidly seeping out around the poorly fit windows and the temperature in the room had already dropped at least five degrees.
Her body shivered as it attempted to adjust to the rapid shift in temperatures as she lowered herself into the ice-cold water. As Anna laid there, she could feel her fingers and toes growing numb. She nearly climbed out but she stayed resolute. She was going to do this. It was her small gift to the world.
Anna smiled as she sang along with the songs that filled her apartment with sounds of holiday cheer. She’d always read those who attempted suicide were happier after they made the final decision.
It didn’t take long for the cold water to force her body to shut down, and she found herself unable to remember the words to songs she had heard her whole life as amnesia set in. Anna closed her eyes and she drifted into unconsciousness, still smiling.
When the landlord got to her place the next day, he let himself in when she didn’t answer. He blanched when he walked into the bathroom and saw her there. Anna’s body looked like a frozen prune and was pale blue. The water she had been soaking in had frozen overnight and encased her body in ice. He ran from the room called the cops from his cell phone. They said they would send someone over shortly.
He had turned the heat on, which caused the ice to melt and he had to pull out the plug so the water wouldn’t overflow onto the floor. He covered her with heavy blankets so he didn’t have to look at her body while he waited for the police.
Anna’s neighbors spilled out into the hall to see what the commotion was about when the police and ambulance arrived. They clucked to each other about what a sweet girl Anna was and hoped she would be okay. They all scurried back into their apartments when they finally rolled Anna’s dead body out.
Anna was taken to the city morgue while they searched for a next of kin. A week had passed and no one came forward to claim her body. The city coroner’s office ordered for Anna to be unceremoniously cremated, then two contractors were hired to bury her ashes in an unmarked grave in the potter’s field on the outskirt of town on Christmas Eve.
They left the back door of the van open so they could listen to the Christmas music playing on the radio. The sound “Silent Night” filled the air around them as they dug the hole then casually dropped the canister in then covered it with dirt. They closed up the back and headed home for an early Christmas Eve with their families.
© December 17, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Justin pulled his hair then slammed his head against the wall. “Get them out!”
“Get what out?” Dr. Holtz asked.
“I can feel them moving!”
“Feel what moving?”
“Damnit! You’re too late!” Justin screamed as he scraped his skin. It rippled with the movement of the newly hatched bugs.
Dr. Holtz blanched as hundreds of cockroaches burst through Justin’s skin.
He called for an orderly to remove the body.
Later Dr. Holtz reported, “Subject died after the hatching. Capsule formula is effective with high bug survival rate. No further testing needed. Will dispatch to the prison camp tomorrow.”
“Don’t move or scream.” A tall, thin masked man was standing next to her car. He was holding a knife.
She had already started to hand him her purse. He pushed it
“Give me your bra.”
“Your bra. Give it to me now.”
He stepped closer, pressing her against the car. He slashed
open her shirt. He tore the fabric away as he slashed open the bra. Fake
breasts fell to the ground.
“What the?” the bandit said then looked up at the male undercover
“You have the right to remain silent.”
Sunday, August 29, 2010
hear a funny song?" the man called out to a young girl passing by on a
bike. He offered her his headphones. She giggled as "Sneaky Snake"
"I have a snake. Wanna see it?"
She nodded her head eagerly. He unzipped his pants, pulled out his penis and waved it around.
"Pet it," he leered.
There was a buzz and he dropped to the ground.The girl pulled off her mask revealing an adult woman. "You're under arrest, sick bastard."
"You trapped me!"
"I guess I'm not the only sneaky one."