Tuesday, June 7, 2016

A Day in the Park

"Did you see that baby? He's larger than any I've ever seen before!" an old woman whispered loudly to her friend.

"No, I was watching the cute gardener," her friend replied then cat called at him.

"What do you think they're feeding him?" she asked.

"You know how meat and milk have all those growth hormones," her friend said.

"Well, they may want to stop," she said. "He looks monstrous."

"You may want to watch how loudly you're talking," the mom said as she turned towards the old women, a wicked grin on her face. "As it turns out, his favorite meal is busybodies."

The baby sprung from the stroller and bit the woman's neck, killing her instantly then started eating her still warm carcass. The other woman fainted.

"Looks like we both get a snack," the mom said as she lifted the woman's hand then bit into the wrist. She sucked on the open wound, draining the blood from her body.

When they finished, she cleaned their faces with a wipe.

"I love having lunch at the park," she said then they both laughed as they made their way home.

Word prompt: mom, larger, watch

Monday, June 6, 2016

Fear of Sunlight

James dashed from one shady spot to the next, desperate to avoid the sunlight.

"What are you doing?" Hannah asked as she tried to keep up with him.

"I ... I had sun poisoining as a kid and ... I ... I must avoid it at all costs," he explained hastily.

"Really? That's so weird. I did, too!" Hannah replied. "But I can go in the sun as long as I'm covered. Try it! Your skin is mostly covered."

Hannah grabbed his arm and pulled him into the sun. She gasped as he started smoking then burst into flame. Soon all that was left was a pile of scorched ashes.

"No one expects the Hannah inquisition," she said with a smile then swept him into the jar with the ashes of her other conquests.

Word prompt: sunlight, smoking, scorched

Thursday, May 19, 2016

The Secret Diet

"Susie, how do you get your body looking so fabulous?" Janice demanded as she set her blanket down next to her friend.

"Spring allergies and sinus infections plus lots of time at the gym," she answered as she flexed her sleek body covered by a skimpy bikini, casually avoiding eye contact.

"That's horrible! What a lousy way to get fit."

Susie thought about the Tupperware container on the kitchen table filled with dried up sheets of boogers waiting to be eaten. There was no way she could tell Janice the secret to her success.

"It's snot bad," Susie joked. They both laughed then fell quiet as they waited for the boys to start fawning over them.