Thursday, March 31, 2011

Do Over

Anna sat at a table in the bakery waiting for Fred to arrive. From her seat, she could easily see both doorways so there was no way she would miss his arrival. She ran her fingers over her carefully styled hair as she caught a glimpse of herself in the window. Anna’s full breasts looked amazing under the new sweater that modestly hinted at the ample bounty below and her pants cleverly made her large stomach not look so big. She looked good and couldn't wait for Fred to see her.

Her thoughts wandered and Anna smiled as she pictured Fred's long black hair pulled back into a ponytail, his scruffy beard, slim body and dark eyes behind thin-rimmed glasses. She was sure they had connected during the writing workshops he'd led six months ago. Fred had even piqued her interest in reading again. It wasn't much of a surprise when Anna realized she was completely smitten with the much younger man.

She didn’t think she’d ever hear from him again but then she’d gotten an e-mail from him about six weeks ago. They’d e-mailed back and forth a few times then he’d asked if she would like to meet him for tea or coffee. Anna eagerly replied, saying she’d love that. She couldn’t believe she was going to be seeing him again and felt as giddy as a school girl.

Anna glanced at the clock; Fred was fifteen minutes late. She decided to give him a chance and wait a bit longer. Her heart jumped when her phone beeped announcing she had a message then sank again as she checked it—the message was from her daughter telling her she was home from school. Anna replied then read the menu boards behind the cash register to keep from thinking about Fred not being there yet.

Fifteen more minutes passed and still no Fred. He had stood her up and hadn’t even had the decency to at least text her saying he wouldn’t be there. Anna picked up her purse then walked out and got in her car. She rested her forehead against the steering wheel as the tears started to fall.

"You're such a foolish old lady," Anna said aloud. She grabbed some napkins then blew her nose and wiped away the tears. “You should have known better.”

Anna couldn’t face heading home yet. She started the car and drove to a nearby park, parking next to the pond. It was still covered with ice with several signs around the shore warning about thin ice.

A hole in the middle of the pond caught her attention and she was reminded of a commercial she'd seen the night before. The character was now an angel after having fallen through the ice on his snowmobile and he was warning others not to make the mistake he had.

She stared at the hole and wondered if she could make it to it without breaking more ice. If she could, maybe the frigid water could numb the pain Anna felt. Fred standing her up was the last straw. She was tired of playing the fool and always feeling so alone.

Anna pulled out her cell phone and texted her daughter. "He didn't show. I'm going to be at the pond for a bit. I love you and I'm sorry."

She turned the phone off before she got a reply then got out of the car, leaving the keys in the ignition. Anna walked to the shore and carefully stepped onto the ice. It crackled and creaked under her weight but was thick enough to hold her. She slowly slid across the ice towards the hole.

"Hey! Can't you read? The ice isn't safe," a man called out from the shore. Anna ignored him and continued towards the hole.

A loud crack echoed around the pond and the ice split under her. Anna cried out as she lost her balance and fell into the cold water. Her body temperature rapidly dropped and she was unable to climb out of the hole. As she started to lose consciousness, she thought, “I’m free.”

Darkness enveloped Anna as she passed from the living to the dead. Her soul was salvaged by the Grim Reaper as she floated lifelessly in the water. When he got back to his office he examined Anna's 426-year-old soul.

"True enlightenment has not been reached," he declared then placed her soul in the reincarnation pile with the rest of the souls still needing to figure it out.

© March 31, 2011

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Nothing Changes

Molly sat on the edge of the dock, looking down at the ice. It reminded her of the frosted glass on classroom windows at school that hid her pain and humiliation from the outside world. The 13 year old pulled her cell phone out of her backpack and typed, "I can't take the fat jokes anymore. Goodbye."

She stared at the message as tears filled her eyes. Molly selected Facebook and her parents from her contacts then clicked send. The “message sent” notification appeared and she closed the phone, setting back in her bag.

Molly took a deep breath as she slid off the dock until her feet touched the ice. She could hear it crackling under her but Molly ignored it as she slowly skated across the ice.

"The ice is too thin! Come back!" a man called from the shore. She pretended not to hear him.

There was a loud crack and the ice beneath her parted to reveal the frigid water below. Molly moved closer to the hole and her weight caused it to open wider.

More people were calling to her now and she could hear the hum of a helicopter approaching. Molly focused on the opening, ignoring their pleas.

Suddenly there was another crack and Molly cried out as she disappeared with a large splash. She froze almost instantly and her body bobbed lifelessly in the water. The rescue team in the helicopter pulled her out and rushed her to the hospital. Molly was pronounced dead on arrival.

Her hecklers laughed when they saw her in the casket. The director quickly escorted them outside. They spotted a fat girl walking down the street and started making fun of her. The director shook his head as he watched. "Nothing changes," he said then closed the door.

© March 30, 2011

Careless Parenting

It was an unseasonably warm day for March and Max took the afternoon off from work so he could take his 2-year-old daughter to the park. He sat on a bench as he watched hier walk towards the water's edge. "That's far enough," he called.

Hanna picked up a rock and threw it into the water. She laughed as the water splashed then turned to pick up a bigger rock. Hanna lost her balance and slid down the muddy embankment into the frigid water. She flailed and cried as her body temperature dropped.

Max jumped up then ran into the water. He fished her body out as a passerby called 9-1-1. By the time the ambulance got there, it was too late. Hanna was dead.

After he recovered from hypothermia, Max was arrested and tried for negligent care of a child. The jury came back with a guilty verdict. It didn't matter to him, he was already imprisoned in his mind by the unending replay of Hanna's death.

© March 30, 2011

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Search for Patches

“Mom, have you seen Patches?” Polly asked.

“No, not today,” her mom answered as she made lunch.

“Did she go outside when Dad left for work?”

“I don’t think so. We’ll look for her after lunch.”

“Okay,” Polly answered as she sat down at the kitchen table. She devoured her sandwich. “Hurry up Mom!”

Her mom hurriedly finished her sandwich. Polly cleared away the dishes as soon as her mom was done.

The search for Patches began. They looked on the couch and under chairs. 

They found her brother’s fire truck but no Patches.

They looked in her favorite sunny spots. They found Polly’s doll but no Patches.

Polly’s mom looked in the basement. She found a squeaky mouse but no Patches.

Polly looked in her parent’s room and in the hamper. She found her bouncy ball but no Patches.

Polly looked in her brother’s messy closet. She found her favorite book but no Patches.

Polly’s mom was heading outside when Polly yelled from upstairs. “MOM!”

Her mom ran up the stairs to Polly’s room. Polly was lying on her stomach with her head under the bed.

“What is it?”

“I found Patches … and five new kittens!”

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Literary Transfers

“To be or not to be,” the Snarflack read from his electronic book reader. As he spoke, the word-erasing gem he held removed the words from all the “Hamlet” books. Every Snarflack did the same with other earthling books.

The Snarflacks had been forced from their planet by the rising temperatures and had chosen earth for their new home. Rather than attack with their superior weapons and destroy the planet, Grai, the Snarflack ruler, studied the earthlings and discovered they would be vulnerable to an attack as they grieved the loss of their literature—the elixir of their hearts and souls.

Grai monitored the attack. As the words disappeared from the last remaining book, the Snarflacks prepared by donning the transference gems their scientists had created. The earth’s climate was too oxygen-rich for the Snarflacks and they would die in less than 10 minutes if they didn’t transfer their soul into an earthling body.

The earthlings soon fell into a deep depression and became listless as they tried to go through their daily lives. Grai gave the command and billions of Snarflacks descended on the planet. The earthlings were too depressed to fight back as the Snarflacks used transference gems on the earthlings.

When the attack was complete, the Snarflacks celebrated their victory around the world by torching their former bodies then eating the charred body as they used word-replacing gems to transfer Snarflack literature into the empty earthling books before they, too, succumbed to the loss of the elixir of their hearts and souls.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Dangers of Talking

"Barb uses collagen to make her lips puffy. Her boyfriend says her blow jobs are amazing," Mary said. "Do you think I should do that?"

"Only if it means you can't talk anymore," Phil replied.

"Oh you!" Mary laughed.

Phil wondered if collagen would shut her up. He bought a dose of imitation collagen online then waited for Mary to pass out from drinking. Phil injected the liquid into her lips then waited. Her lips grew bigger and bigger until her mouth closed and they blocked her nose. Mary struggled for few minutes then fell quiet.

Phil dropped the needle as if it was on fire. He hadn't wanted to kill her, just shut her up.

As he stared at Mary's dead body, he devised a plan. Phil brought the typewriter upstairs and used her stiffening fingers to type a letter saying it was her idea and absolved him of any wrongdoing then to hold the pen as he traced her signature from a cancelled check.

He called the police and reported the death. The detectives bought Phil's story completely. They even suggested that he sue the manufacturer.

Phil took their advice and a few months later, he had a settlement for $5,000,000. On the way home from court, he stopped by Barb's house. Her boyfriend was right about collagen lips, they really did feel amazing. And her mouth was too busy for idle chatter, which suited him just fine.

© March 3, 2011

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Power of Love

Joan's husband Ben weakened with each dose of chemo. "It isn’t fair; he doesn’t deserve a life like this," she said. She knew there was only one way to save him.

She went to his lab and found his shrinking raygun. Joan raced back to the hospital, ducking into the bathroom. She tied a string to the trigger, set it for microscopic then pointed it at herself. Joan tugged the string and was soon no bigger than the diseased cells in Ben’s body.

Joan jumped into his mouth then slipped into a vein, which she took to the site of the cancer. The diseased cells quickly surrounded her but she used the strength of her love to defeat them.

When they were all destroyed, she found herself surrounded by white blood cells. They cheered then carried her to Ben’s mouth. Joan barely made it back to the bathroom before the shrinking raygun’s effects reversed.

Her husband was bright eyed and healthy looking when she came out. “It’s a miracle,” the doctors declared.

Joan smiled and held her husband’s hand. “No, it was the power of love.”

© March 2, 2011

Beauty is Skin Deep

"You have beautiful skin," Bob said to the blonde at the bar.

"Sweet talker. I’m Brandy,” she said.

“I’m entranced,” Bob replied as he ran his finger along her arm. "Can I try it on?"

"Uh, no!"

Bob frowned and dropped a roofie in her appletini. She finished the drink and started to walk away but the drug was taking effect. Bob offered to escort her home.

"415 West Main," she mumbled. He flagged a taxi and they were soon at her place. Bob helped her into the apartment.

“I don’t take no for an answer,” Bob said as he yanked her spirit out and threw it against the wall. He slithered out of his host and into her body, his spirit flowing through her.

He shoved her wilting spirit into his former host then guided the body out the door. He hailed a cab and gave the driver $100 to take his old body to the homeless shelter.

Bob went back inside, undressed and stood in front of a full-length mirror. He smiled as he ran his hand over his new host, enjoying the feeling of her skin and feminine form. “A perfect fit. I think I’ll keep it.”

© March 2, 2011