Friday, October 31, 2014

Apocalypse Trick or Treat

The young zombie dressed in a ballerina costume daintily skipped up to the house. She knocked on the door and waited for the human to answer.

"Trick or treat!" she mumbled when the door opened.

"That's the most realistic costume I've seen all night! Here's your treat," the old woman said then put a package of unfrosted strawberry Pop-Tarts in her bag. "I ran out of candy and it is all I have."

"This is a trick!" the zombie yelled then then lunged at the woman. She bit into her skull and pulled out the brains, letting the woman fall to the ground.

She pulled the Pop-Tarts out of her bag and unceremoniously dropped them next to the woman, leaving them swimming in a puddle of blood. She skipped off to the next house as she chewed on the fresh brains, happy with her unexpected treat.

Prompts: Pop-Tarts, daintily and swimming.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Pumpkin Festival Catastrophe

“Three … two … one … shut off the lights!” Mayor Larry Kimball yelled into the microphone. The lights throughout the downtown area turned off and the area was filled with the soft glow of candle light from the more than 30,000 lit carved pumpkins that lined the streets.

A chorus of ‘ohhs’ and ‘ahhs’ rose up from the crowd. It was a spectacular sight seeing so many pumpkins lit at the same time. Over at the food court, a weary festival-goer ordered a salty pretzel. 

“Would you like that heated?” the cashier asked.

“Sure, just enough to make it soft again.”

The cashier picked the largest pretzel and placed it on a paper plate then put it in the microwave. It ran for twelve seconds then suddenly stopped. “That’s weird,” the cashier said. “Is that going to be good enough for you?”

“Yeah, I just want to get out of here before everyone else.”

While they talked, a spark from the extension cord lit some old leaves on fire. The fire quickly spread from one leaf pile to the next.

“Holy shit! Fire! Call 9-1-1!” someone screamed. The blaze was headed straight for Main Street. Food vendors and the gift tent tried to douse the fire with whatever water they had but it was fully engaged.

The crowd could smell the fire before they saw it. Everyone started to panic and run away from the fire. Chaos filled the air and they trampled over each other in their attempt to escape, knocking pumpkins over and igniting all the dried leaves and hay that lined the main street.

It took several hours and responders from six towns to get the fire put out that had spread for up to three blocks on either side of Main Street then assess the damage. More than 1,500 people of all ages and a dozen pets had perished in the attempt to escape and thousands more were treated at a makeshift emergency room or transported to nearby hospitals. The fire caused millions of dollars of damage to the businesses. News outlets shared the grisly story, dubbing it Nightmare on Main Street.

That was the last year they held the pumpkin festival. On the one year anniversary of the fire, the town placed a bronze carved pumpkin in the center of town honoring those who died in the fire and the end of more than 20 years of pumpkin festivals. The plaque read, “Let it Shine – Your spirit, love and devotion will forever shine in our hearts and thoughts.”


Jake stared at his math homework. He would much rather be out in the main part of the house partying with his fraternity brothers but he couldn’t afford to fail the class, he would be booted from the fraternity and have to find a new place to live. The music from the party seeped through the floorboards.

Maybe a few drinks would be okay, then I’ll be less stressed,” Jake thought to himself as he glanced at the closed door. No one would fault him. After all, it was Thirsty Thursday. He could have a few drinks and still have plenty of time to study for the test he needed to retake in the morning.

He closed the book and stood up. It was time to de-stress and get some fun in at the same time. As he came down the stairs he saw Debbie. She was wearing a hot purple dress that clung to every delicious curve of her body. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into an elaborate bun held in place with black decorative chopsticks.

“Hey sssssstud,” she slurred as she leaned towards him. There was no doubt that she’d had more than a few drinks.

“Hey Debbie,” he replied and took the beer she was holding out to him. “How’s the party?”

“Boring as all hell. Let’s find a room and fuck.”

“Whoa! Lindsey is only away for the weekend, I can’t cheat on her like that.”

“No one will ever find out.”

“She would run me over if she did. I’m not willing to take that chance.”

“Whatever. You’re just not man enough for all this,” Debbie replied and stumbled away to find another brother to sleep with.

Jake finished the beer then started looking for another. When he downed that he headed back to his room to finish studying. On the way, he passed Homer, their giant pet spider. “Looking for dinner?” Jake asked.

The spider chittered his response and climbed along the wall to the stairs then across the ceiling to where everyone was milling about. He waited patiently for one of them to be alone. Homer wasn’t kept waiting for long.

Debbie had passed out and had been left to sleep it off. Homer silently dropped from the ceiling and started spinning a tight web around her, starting with her bare feet. He quickly worked his way up her body, squeezing the life out of her with each rotation around her body.

Homer was just getting to the face when she woke up and started screaming. He panicked and bit her, his venom filling her blood stream with poison. Debbie died instantly and an eerie silence descended on the room.

The next morning Jake came downstairs. Beer bottles and cans were strewn everywhere. In the corner, Homer was eating from the web. His frat brothers were eating breakfast. “Which one did Homer get?”

“We think Debbie,” Henry answered.

“Good. She was nothing but trouble anyway,” Jake replied and ate his Rice Krispies.

Monday, October 13, 2014

A Hostile Take Over

    "What's the news on Project Acquisition Earth?" Commander Smraelth asked as he gazed on the distant planet.
    "The religious zealots we placed there have been quite effective, especially the Republicans in the United States. They've torn down nearly all the environmental controls, increased poverty and reduced health care thus weakening their populace. They've segregated nearly all non-white, heterosexuals so they have no willpower or desire to fight," Officer Theulla reported.
    "They've destroyed most of the infrastructure of the government. The military is strong for a ground or air fight but their space program will be dismantled enough for them not to be able to oppose us. I estimate less that in less than two earth years they will be completely unable to launch a defense against us."
    "Excellent! Your undertaking of learning earthling culture has paid off and your recommendations seem to be working very well. If the take over goes to plan, I will personally make sure you get a giant promotion and your choice of earth real estate when the dust settles."
    "Thank you Commander!"
    "Dismissed," Commander  Smraelth said then focused the telescope so he could see the earthlings as they moved about then licked his lips. His stomach rumbled in response to seeing his favorite delicacy.
    He picked up the phone and called the kitchen. "Do we still have any earthling left in the freezer?"
    "Yes, Sir. There are five or six full bodies left from last month's hunting expedition."
    "Wonderful! I want earthling soup for dinner tonight."
    "Very well, Sir."
    The commander hung up and turned off the telescope then sat back in his chair, smiling smugly. He loved it when a plan came together.