Stan was running through Central Park late one night. Being a half vampire, he preferred to do most of his outdoor activities after the sun had gone down.
As he was passing The Lake, he noticed a purple light in the sky above the water. Stan tried to duck out of sight but it was too late, they’d noticed him.
“Stop!” a voice boomed. Stan kept running, hoping to be able to out run whatever it was.
“Stop, or I’ll say stop again!”
Stan paused then started to laugh. They were playing a recording from an old Robin Williams’ comedy special. While he was laughing, they transported him onto their ship.
“Ah ... so many pedestrians and so little time,” the voice said.
“Put me back! I’m famous!”
“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.”
“Come on, please? I have to work a double shift tomorrow!”
“We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins. Carpe diem!” the voice said as it pulled a chunk of Stan’s hairs from his head.
When Stan woke a short time later he was back on the sidewalk in Central Park with his hair missing. He didn’t tell anyone what happened, he was sure no one would believe him.
Several months later, Stan woke up to the sounds of people screaming in the streets outside. He ran to the window and gasped as he saw a legion of giant humans that looked just like him. They were trampling buildings and stomping on people. He hadn’t dreamed his visit on the spaceship. It had really happened!
He called the mayor. “I know how to stop the aliens.”
Within a half hour fire departments from all over the city converged in the path of the aliens. They rolled out their hoses and on the commander’s orders, aimed it at the aliens.
The water burned their skin and they turned, racing back to the mother ship.
“How did you know to use Holy Water?” the mayor asked.
“They’re half vampire, just like me.”