Saturday, April 6, 2013

Addictions

Belinda, a tooth fairy, sat in the waiting area of the Fairy National Bank. She was really nervous and was glad she’d decided to skip breakfast as her stomach churned nervously.
“Belinda, come this way,” the young banker announced. She followed him into his office and perched on the chair so as not to crinkle her wings. “My name is Howard Wingzer. How can I help you?”
“I ... I need a bit of a ... a loan,” she stammered.
“Is business not going well?” Howard asked.
“I just got another sec ... section added to my load and I’m running low ... low on quarters. I just need enough until I ... I ... I get paid again in a few weeks,” Belinda explained as she clasped and unclasped her hands.
“This is the third time in as many years that you’ve come to us to ask for a loan,” Howard replied as he looked through her folder.
“I ... in the spring ... I ...” She faltered and stared at the ground hoping it would swallow her whole.
“Yes? In the spring ...” he prompted.
“I ... I eat ... ban ... err ... jelly beans”
“And this costs you that much money?”
“I eat a lot.”
“I see. Have you talked to a fairy therapist about this ... addiction?” Howard demanded judgmentally.
“Please, I need to get this loan to be able to keep my job,” Belinda pleaded, ignoring his question and trying not to lick her lips.
“While you have paid off your loans on time, we cannot just keep loaning you money to cover your addiction. You will have to agree to get counseling in order for us to grant the loan,” he answered.
“I can stop ... please, just give me the loan.”
“I’m sorry but my boss said no loan without counseling.”
Belinda scowled. “That is ridiculous.”
“Sign it or chance losing your job. Your choice.”
“Fine.” Belinda snatched the pen from the bug-eyed banker and signed the agreement to get counseling for her addiction then the promissory note for the loan.
“Thank you,” Howard said as he collected the papers and pen from Belinda. “Are you really addicted to eating jelly beans?”
“Well, it isn’t exactly jelly beans I’m addicted to,” she replied, nervously wringing her hands.
“Oh? What is it?” Howard leaned forward, eager to hear her answer. 
“Bankers,” she replied as she bit his head off. “They’re magically delicious.”

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